ENOUGH

Do you remember that movie?  I'm channeling Jennifer Lopez tonight.  Not in an "defending myself from an abusive ex" way, but in an "I'm a super mom, and if you try to invade my home you will probably lose." sort of way.  

I should back up. Evan is in Austin for his bachelor party, undoubtedly 3 sheets to the wind - as he should be.  I am home alone with the twins for a few days.  It's my first time alone with them for more than a day, so I am already overwhelmed.  Now this was just the icing on the "Are you kidding me?" cake.  Earlier today I was at work and got a text from my nanny saying that my neighbor stopped by to tell her that he came home and interrupted some guys casing the complex.  They had a lookout who saw him pull into the driveway, he yelled into the complex and a few guys came running out.  

I called the non-emergency line to report the "casing incident" and the lady said she couldn't help me.  I begged her to tell the squad's to make a few extra passes down my street tonight, and she said they couldn't.  

WHAT?  Scary!  Luckily I was let out of work early today, so I ran to the store and bought... exactly what you would think I would buy, a curtain rod, an electric drill... and a 6 pack of Dos Equis.  (remember, this blog is a "no judgement zone")  

We have those janky plastic shades on our patio window now.  The kids have pulled most of them down, so there are 6, or so, actual shades left creating a completely ineffective shade experience.  Mostly a problem because we face west and our apartment becomes the temperature of the sun in the afternoons.  Now, more importantly I needed to block passer byers and creepers from seeing into our apartment.  

So I come home, fully ready to feel powerful and use my new drill, but neither the nanny or I were confident in our ability to hang curtains.  I base this on the fact that the curtains I hung in our bedroom are not even.  We have to leave them closed all the time because if you move the curtains too much, you risk them crashing down... rod and all.  

My nanny says, "Well, do you have zip ties or anything we can fasten the curtains to the shade rod with?" and I say "Sure, I have ribbon for wrapping gifts."  So then we did this:  It's pretty impressive, I know.  

Of course, that is not all I did.  I moved furniture around with tactical thought, and while I don't want to give away all of my secrets, good luck to anyone trying to get in our front door, or any window in this house.  Unless you are the winner of American Ninja Warrior, you will not get in to disturb the kids and I.  

Now please excuse me, my night watch is beginning. 

Lots of love... and courage.