Three and a half Months in to This Parenting Thing

My last post was when the babies were 9 days old. I'm not sure when I found time to write...pretty impressive. Right now I am typing with one hand, feeding Wyatt with the other (Yes I have perfected the one handed feed) and Olivia is asleep on the couch. Evan just left for work and I was feeling like I needed some time to express feelings about the past few months.

These three months have flown by. I don't think so in the minute when the babies are crying at the same time and I'm counting the seconds until Evan gets home from work, but looking back, it's a blur. A big happy, stressful, exciting blur.

We have had a lot of visitors intermittently which has been incredibly helpful. Visitors are wonderful but every time someone says "we're here to see the babies and help with the babies, don't plan anything or do anything different." I still put pressure on myself to do my best to make sure our visitors have a good time in San Diego and get out of the house more than I normally would. I am mentally exhausted by the time guests leave. Double edged sword.

It doesn't have to be said that twins are a lot of work. Some days I surprise myself by doing something like cooking, or cleaning, or paying bills. Those are great days. I am finally learning how to get both babies happy at the same time and even sometimes they sleep at the same time! I have strange strategies, but I now know what works for each one which is a great feeling.

Today happens to be one of those magical days. It's taken me all morning to piece together this choppy post, but the babies have both finally fallen asleep for their morning nap. I put a crock pot meal together - chicken, carrots, onion and spices in chicken broth to cook all day. I am finally writing, and I'm even drinking my coffee while it's hot!

Evan has been hired at Union Bank which apparently is as exciting as watching paint dry. Luckily he was also hired at Yardi another local company which seems to be a much better fit. He starts there in December, so he's just biding his time for the next couple of weeks. He also works for a catering company who he caters for on Saturday evenings. I am so proud of Evan for not settling, but going on a lot of interviews in order to find a great job that he will love. The interviewing process is stressful and can be frustrating, but as usual, he was in high spirits the whole time. I am doing massage on weekend mornings and I cover some massages on weeknights if they need me. I also am still writing content for Be True to Yourself Life Coaching, and soon will be starting with clients. Evan and I keep pretty busy :)

In between all of our jobs and taking care of the babies, we still do find time for fun. Evan meets his friend Nick to watch football sometimes on Sundays. We take the babies to pot luck dinner parties at our friends houses, and often people stop by the house for a bit to say hi. Our social life has changed quite a bit, but luckily the main person I want to be out having fun with is Evan anyway, so we find ways to entertain ourselves with the kids instead of how we used to.

Speaking of kids... Wyatt and Olivia are the funniest little people. They smile all the time and laugh at all the dumb things we do. Wyatt laughs in his sleep and sounds like a little puppy, which cracks us up. Olivia is a total morning person. She wakes up cheery and smiling and talking just like daddy. Wyatt is happy in the mornings too, but he's usually a little groggy still from being up a lot at night. They have learned to suck their thumbs, are doing really well at grabbing and reaching out for things. They surprise themselves when they fart, and are the sweetest, most cuddly, chatty, lovable little packages I could ever want.

Every once in a while, they have a rough day or few hours where they cry inconsolably. Those times are the worst because as a parent, we want desperately to figure out what the baby needs and make them calm/happy again. It is heart breaking to hear your baby cry and not be able to fix it. We are getting better though at realizing that sometimes babies cry and that is ok.

Emotionally I still feel like a wreck. I am incredibly sensitive and defensive. This is evidenced by the fact that I become offended and annoyed easily by people offering unsolicited advice or making snarky comments. See! There I go, "snarky comments" when really they're just plain old comments that I take as mean or undercutting/undermining my parenting abilities.

Just don't give advice. That's it. A new parent knows when they don't know something. When I don't know what I'm doing, I ask, read a book, read a blog, call a nurse help line, talk it over with Evan or simply go with my mommy instinct. I joined a twins parent group for crying out loud. Those parents know what their doing, they are my biggest weapon at this point. I can't tell you how helpful my friends are who are also new mommies. We text at 3am, we complain together, we cry together, we laugh together and we gossip together. Either way, just know that I and all the other mom's out there have our ways of gathering important information. So unless I say "hey what did you do when your kid had a really bad diaper rash?" DON"T TELL ME.

I have been rating my parenting skills by the amount of smiles and laughs I get from the babies, how many smiles and laughs are shared between Evan and I, how many high fives we give over poopy diapers, and by how many times we brag about how amazing Wy Wy and Livvy Bear are. From what I can tell we're doing alright, so thanks but no thanks, I've got this down.

On that note, I'll leave you with some pics of Wyatt and Olivia because I like to leave you with smiles and lots of love :)